I Watched My Father's Soul Leave His Body And I've Never Lived The Same Way Again

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 22 March, 2018

I still remember the day when I saw my Dad crying like a child in the hospital lobby when he saw his medical reports. It was my parents 27th wedding anniversary, but we had to come to this hospital in another city to get his checkup done. My father thought that because for the past 2 months he was on medication, and he is eating a restricted diet, the reports would be better. But nothing changed, and after seeing the report, Doctor said that there is no other option besides open heart surgery. Two months back, he had a severe heart attack. Doctors said that a valve in his heart is severely damaged and that if he survives, his further life would be very difficult. Since we lived in a small city, we took him to a metro city which was around 250 km away. And that day the verdict was out, he had to go through the surgery. But I did see the light in my father's eyes fading away. Somewhere I knew that he was not going to survive.

In these past 2 months, I have seen his body become just like a mere structure of bones. I could see his chubby face becoming pale and life less. So it was their wedding anniversary, we were in the hospital, and he was crying like a child, cursing his luck and worrying about his children and wife. We took him to one of the best Hospitals in South India. He was operated on successfully. Fifteen days later, he was being brought back to our home town.

Sometimes, life teaches us things the very tough way. My father was supposed to be in the confines of our home for the next 6 months. He was to be kept away from dust and dirt and even from the touch of outsiders. But he didn’t bother about post op care. He went for his regular walks outside, he would talk to every guest who came to see him. And just after 20 days, he had severe Pneumonia. Again, he was taken to the hospital. He was facing a lot of difficulty in breathing. He could barely manage to sit on his own. And I was standing there, helplessly looking at the plight of my father. I could just see his pain and his suffering. But I could not do anything to fix it. He was one of those people who would never bow down in front of problems and would fight till the end.


And today, this fighter was giving up his efforts. I could see the light in his eyes fading away. And I knew that he is not going to survive. Sometimes, it is so difficult to accept that which you already know deep down inside you. But that day, I accepted this fact. I even prayed to God to end my father's pain. And He did that. The night before my father passed away, I touched his forehead. And just like a spectator, I watched him in his pain and agony. I had been witnessing it for last 6 months, and I told him, “Don’t worry, everything will be fine", even though I knew nothing was going to be fine. Next evening, all of a sudden, he became breathless and within a few moments, he was gone.

He held my mother's hand and pleaded, "Please save me". But the irony is that none of us could save him. So there was his body lying on the hospital bed, but my Dad was gone. A part of me knew, this is not my Dad. It is now just a body, the energy which was playing the role of my Dad was gone.

The story is over. He has moved onto a new story. He has taken his exit from the drama in which we are still players. The Drama would go on, it never stops. New players come, and the old ones bid goodbye. No matter what you do, you cannot stop their exit. You cannot change their plans.

Whether you want it or not, you have to watch them leaving the stage of your drama. And then one fine day, your turn will come, you will also take your exit and people will see you leaving.

This incident changed the way I looked at life. Life is not about accumulating desires, harbouring grudges and pains. It is not about competing with people, and it’s also not about judging yourself or others. Life is a journey of the soul, in this mortal body. Life is just an experience, an experience of good and bad, ups and downs, love and separation, loss and gains. It’s about the realization that everything is ephemeral. Nothing is going to stay forever. So why not celebrate each day with the knowledge that no experience is useless. Nothing is a taboo, nothing is wrong. Do what really makes you happy. Love those who love you back. Don't waste time with those who do not understand you.

Don't judge yourself by the perception of others. Most of the people do not know how to live with freedom and thus they will never like a person who lives with freedom. Be free, and love life before you exit from this drama.
Editor's Note:

Death knocks life out of one, but leaves irreparable scars on those who live through it. Share this story because those who live through death of a loved one, are some of the bravest warriors we have.