Indian Society love marriage heartbreak

I Wasted 9 Years Of My Life On Him And This Is How The 'Marriage' Happened

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

My story goes back 9 years. I met him through a mutual friend. They were dating back then and he seemed to be a nice guy.

He was shy the first time we met and quite decent too. Slowly, he made me comfortable and we became best friends. Eventually, the girl cheated on him and they broke up but we continued being friends.

This was the time when I supported him through thick and thin.

He would call me late in the night and cry. I'd comfort him saying that she wasn't worth it and that he needed to move on. This went on for almost 2 years and without realizing it, I fell for him. But I did not confess my feelings.

Everybody around us always assumed that we were dating but we were just best friends.

In 2012, I had to move out of the city for my post-graduation. The night I was leaving, he cried and begged me not to leave. I do not know what came over me but seeing him cry made me cry too.

I had started loving him to an extent that I could not see him cry or hurt. But I had to leave.

The first time I returned to the city, he came to pick me up from the airport. I was so happy to see him that I just ran to hug him. He hugged me back tightly. We decided to party the same night with friends. He got drunk there.

Remember, we hadn't confessed our feelings yet? But that night he touched me and I couldn't stop myself.

That was the first time I actually felt it was okay to get intimate because I loved him. All he said was that he missed me and that he didn’t want to lose me. I was on cloud 9. From then on, we acted like a couple.

He would get jealous if I spoke to other guys and vice versa. Slowly, I confessed my love to him. He said he loved me too but couldn’t confess because he didn’t want to hurt me. I believed him blindly.

In the 5 years of being together, I got pregnant 3 times, yet I was the one who supported him always.

One day, he randomly told me he that his family had fixed a match for him and he was getting engaged to her. But he continued meeting me saying that he cannot leave me.

I was stupid to believe that he would actually speak to his parents about us.

He got married this year but still stayed in contact with me. He kept lying to me about how he was planning to leave his wife by telling her about us and I believed him all along.

I got pregnant again and now he has blocked me from everywhere. He doesn’t want to keep any contact with me.

I feel like a fool for trusting him and wasting 9 years of my life on someone who wasn't man enough to take a stand for me.

I still think about him and cry thinking where did I go wrong? What mistake had I committed to deserve this? Was loving someone unconditionally my only mistake?

Was trusting him more than myself a mistake?

My parents got to know about my situation and have lost their trust in me. He is happy in his family life and doesn’t care about anything related to me. I feel so depressed.

I don’t understand how can someone be so selfish that they just throw someone out of their life!

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