While I type this, I feel like crying but my tears have all dried up. If you were to ever meet me, you'd think I'm the happiest guy around because I love to crack lame jokes and make people laugh.
That's who I am, but what made me be this way?
I still remember that day so clearly, when I was just a little boy. Maybe 8 or 9 years old. Mother took me and my sister and ran away from home because of constant abuse that we faced from a father who seemed to lose his shit every day.
That night while we slept in the cozy house of my grandparents, there was a loud noise that awoke us. It was him.
We were quickly ushered to the safety of a secret room in the house. We were flustered, did not know what was going to happen next. After an hour of loud voices that scared the hell out of us, our mother came to get us. She brought us down to face the smile of a cop. Our father was nowhere to be seen.
"Who would you rather stay with? Mom or dad?" asked the cop.
What would you expect an 8-year-old to say. I said "Both" in a hushed tone. Next day our father took us away and mother joined us a week later.
There are still days when I think back and regret saying that word.."Both". But I know I have to move on and I have, to an extent. I still see the abuse that takes place in the house. I interfere. I calm them down.
I've even been told by them, in the heat of the moment, "Sleep with your eyes open or else something might happen to you tonight".
I feel like a part of my childhood has been stolen from me. But I believe you can either take a positive spin on life with your experiences or you can fall and stay down. That is the reason I've learned to smile and be happy. Because no matter what problems you face, they are not going to last forever.
So don't ever be disheartened. Remember the times in your life when you had a ball of a time. And live a little.