I considered the option of losing her if I confessed my feelings to her, but keeping them inside me was no longer possible. I met her in 2008, soon after I had broken up with my girlfriend and had sworn never to fall in love again. But life had other plans for me when it coincided my path with her. She was the most charming and beautiful woman I had ever seen.

We both started on a good note and stayed as friends for about 10 years. It was her idea not to fall in love and I kept my promise until last week when I confessed my feelings to her. It didn't go down well with her and she chose to leave me.

If you're reading this, I just want you to know that I took ten years to confess my feelings to you, only because I wanted to keep my promise to you.

Even after you left me, I couldn’t love anyone else the way I loved you. I couldn't move on in my life without you. Only you know me for who I am, with all my darkest secrets and sins intact. I've chosen not tell even my wife about them. I just want you to consider the life we have both have been living, struggling to be loved, everyday.

I didn't want to ruin our friendship for my feelings, but it was getting too much for me to bear. Yet, even after all these years, you didn’t notice how hard it was for me to let you go.

Now that you are gone, I am living with the memory of all the little moments I spent with you.

There are so many things that I never told you. I never told you that you look amazing in yellow. I never told you that my heart skipped a beat when I looked into your eyes. I never told you that I looked for an excuse to hold your hand because I wanted to hold them for the rest of my life.

I’ll always love you the way you are. You're the imperfect girl of my dreams. I’m not sorry and I’ll not say sorry for this mess. I guess I was never meant to be loved back in turn. 

I tried to save our friendship from love but I'm sorry I couldn't. I love you and always will.

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