I Tried To Find My Life Partner On A Matrimony Site. Unfortunately, I Also Trusted Him.

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 4 August, 2017

I am a girl in my twenties. I belong to a simple middle-class family with loving people. I had been in a relationship during my college time.

Unlike other people of my age, we didn’t go for a date or something. He didn’t have a phone. We talked only during college and after the college closed, we didn’t talk.

He was living with his relatives in a strict environment. Still, we were happy together because we were not only lovers but also the best of best friends. 

Then one day it all ended. I tried to sort it out but he didn’t agree. He did come into my life later on though. But at that point, it was too late. I had moved on from my ‘best friend’.

After college, I started working. It was all very difficult initially to forget him. But life started moving on. It was during this time that my profile was registered on a matrimony site.

Then someone on Facebook messaged me saying that he had seen my ID online and wanted to talk with me. I was someone who thought that talking to strangers, especially through social media is a sin. So I told him that I will talk with him only with my parents’ consent.

He called through Facebook and talked to my relatives and my parents. After this, with t, eir permission I first saw him over a video call. We then started talking and I thought that I had finally got my dream boy.

Every day he only talked about sex. If I told him that I didn’t want to talk about it, he would get angry and say that anyway he was going to marry me. One day I got really scared when I saw his face over a video call. He had the face of a devil. He looked like a person who would kill me every day. That day he said, “You behave like I am going to rape you!”

And after two months of talking and giving me hopes, he said “Bye” to me without even telling my family. Nobody knew how much he had hurt me. That day when he bid me goodbye, he gave me lame reasons saying that, “There is so much distance between our homes! My parents also think that a girl who lives near our home would be better.”

I understood that he was playing with my feelings. It was a very difficult time for me. It was not about the two months that we had spent together. It was about the hope that he had given me. I had never met him but he had told us that the engagement would be after two months.

A few months after this incident, my family again searched for a boy for me. This boy had all the bad habits that any person could possibly have (more than that). He told me about his foreigner girlfriend and also about his girlfriend in college and how both of them had cheated him.

He used to drink and smoke. He had even gone to a red light area (although he said he came back because he got frightened). When I got angry over this he said, “If you trust me go ahead or else leave me."

He was the first person who had come to see me (typical ladki dekhne ka riwaaz). From the first meeting itself, he became my father’s favourite.

He didn’t have a permanent job at that time. But all of us supported him. Finally after 4 or 5 months of talking with each other (we met only with our family) we started dreaming about our marriage.

He had a sister whose wedding was celebrated lavishly. He now had many financial problems. Still, without telling my parents I supported him.

Meanwhile he talked to that foreigner ex-girlfriend twice. But every time I cried, he said things would be fine. He would twist it in such a way saying that he won’t repeat it.

Everything was going on fine. He then asked for the marriage to be conducted 2 years later. I agreed to this too and my parents agreed with my decision for my happiness. His father decided that our engagement and wedding would be after one year. We were surprised when he asked for more time to settle a few more things on his side.

One day, I saw that girl again in his friends’ list. I asked him whether this was why he was behaving differently all these days. He said, “No.” That day evening my father got a call from his dad saying that it was a fault on their side. They need more time and it would be better if the girl did not wait for their son to get married.

My mother called him and asked him about it. He said he couldn’t say anything about his parents’ decision. When I said that I could convince his parents, he said there was no need for me to do so.

 I begged him over the phone. I told him not to hurt me again. I told him that he knew everything. But still he didn’t care. My mother also told him about my situation. But he disconnected the phone.

Next day again my mother tried to request him. But he gave lame excuses. Without even telling my dad, he blocked them from everywhere. He broke off all points of contact (He had done this earlier too when he was angry).

My parents, relatives and I had dreamed so much about my wedding and he just went away like that. It has not even been a month since he left me and blocked us all from everywhere. I am still suffering but I am just being strong for the outside world. I don’t know what my fault was but one thing is for sure – I should not have been too sincere.

If you'd like to tell your story to a live audience, aka great listeners, in Mumbai, come for Kahaaniya at The Habitat, Khar on August 8th! Send your story to contact@tapeatale.com and book your tickets here.

Author's Note:

When you leave people just like that without giving any valid reason, don’t think they are fools. They just trusted you a lot and you somehow broke that trust.

I also will be fine soon because I trust that God does everything with a purpose.

Editor's Note:

Share this story so that we all learn to enter into any kind of real or virtual relationship only when we are financially, mentally and emotionally prepared it.