I thought I was the luckiest person on earth because I was living happily with my parents and my loving brother ever since I was a child. I completed my graduation about 5 years back. I then did my M.Tech and completed my internship too. While I was doing my masters degree, my parents started looking out for grooms because they had decided to get me married. I started facing challenges in my life now.

My parents selected a life partner for me after they got my nod of approval.

He was my dad’s brother-in-law’s son. He was well settled and was working as an AEE in the department of irrigation. He was a good looking and handsome guy.

We never conversed over the phone. He never replied to my messages either. We got engaged after a year. I expected him to at least initiate a conversation with me after we got engaged but he did no such thing.

I cried a lot for several days and nights. I told my parents about it but they convinced me saying that things would be alright after we got married. I got married to him one fine day.

He was not at all happy on the day we were getting married. I could sense his feelings through his facial expressions.

After we got married, I went to my mother-in-law’s house. All of them were very kind-hearted and good at heart. I had never expected them to be so good. My husband’s brother was a very good person and his wife treated me like her sister. I was very happy when I was with them.

They arranged our first night for us. It was the saddest and the worst day of my life. He disappointed me that day.

He convinced me saying that he wanted to plan a trip to Kerala for our honeymoon. But I could sense that he was not interested. I pretended that things were fine between us when I was around my parents or my in-laws. They assumed that things were OK. After a few days, he had to undergo some kind of training for 3 months.

Even when he was so far away from me, he never spoke to me lovingly. When he returned after 3 months, I asked him when he planned to have children with me. He never responded appropriately to any of my questions. He would just cook up some story or the other.

He had not changed even a little bit after one full year. I told my mother, mother-in-law and sister about my predicament. They arranged for us to live separately because they thought he would become closer to me if we were alone.

We live together now but he is not even interested in coming home every day. I would lie to everyone and tell them that we were living happily. One fine day, I lost my patience. I thought of telling my mother-in-law about how things were between us.

I wanted to tell her that he had not changed at all and that he still behaved in the same manner. But one day before I planned to tell her about it, I lost my father-in-law.

It was a great loss to our family and pure bad luck for me.  We were totally depressed now. I was not able to share my feelings with my parents or my mother-in-law.

A few days back I noticed that he talked on his mobile continuously for hours. When I questioned him about it, he would always say he was talking to his friends or with his colleagues for official work. I never believed him. One day I made a note of the number from his phone.

He was talking regularly with a girl. When I asked him about her, he said that she was his true friend.

Right now I cannot divorce him because I don't want to make my mother-in-law look down upon her son with shame. I respect her too much for it. Also, I don't want to make my parents unhappy. I don't want to be a burden to my parents too.

During the day, I act as if everything is normal but I cry a lot in the nights. I don’t know where I am going wrong. But I do know that I can’t do anything more than this.

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