I Never Thought I'd Trust Again But He Changed My Life With His Postivity

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

People say that blue represents gloomy but for me, blue stands for happiness and positivity. For me, blue represents him. He is full of positive energy and motivation. He makes me feel secure, positive, confident and motivated whenever he is around me.

I felt hopeless and negative towards life.

I’d lost everything; the love of my life, my self-respect, dignity, and my parents’ trust. I couldn’t even trust myself anymore. I hated myself. It was all because someone ditched me.

I loved him without any expectations yet he left me. I went against my family. I ignored my likes and dislikes.

The only thing that mattered was my love for him and my dream to become his wife.

I was a one-man woman. Mujhe uske alawa koi nahi dikhta tha. His face, his smile, his likes, and dislikes, his hobbies; my world revolved around him. His career, his dreams, his life became more important than my own.

I was so crazy about him that I lost my motive in life.

I used to be a self-motivated girl with an aim in life. I wanted to achieve success in my career. I never wanted to do anything that would hurt my parents. Nor did I ever want to go against them for a guy. I didn’t want to destroy my character or my career.

I didn’t want to go crazy in love. And I definitely didn’t want to get hurt so badly.

He made an unexpected entry at an unexpected time. I did everything to make him happy. I forgot all that I’d ever dreamed or desired and made him my priority.

I made him my world. And in the process, I forgot myself.

Because he said that he loved me. Then one day, it was over. He disappeared and never came back. He never gave me a reason why he left. Nor did he bother to check on me.

What had I done wrong? Why had he abandoned me without an explanation? Why couldn’t his parents accept me? What kind of a girl was he looking for and why couldn’t I be that girl? Was he not in love with me?

It was painful and it hurt because I didn’t just lose him, I lost everything because of him.

I’d forgotten how to live without him since I’d devoted 5 long years to live according to him. I was unable to say anything to my parents but they stood by me. All I’d done was insult them and let them down yet they supported me without any questions.

Still I felt lost, I couldn’t figure what I’d done wrong that he left me.

I was a reserved girl who didn’t like partying or socializing let alone drinking alcohol. However, when he left me, I took to drinking. Some guys exploited my state of mind and forced me to sleep with them. I was losing my mind. Though I did everything to forget him, I couldn’t get over the pain until I met Blue.

We were introduced through a common friend. Blue was smart, handsome and a nice person.

I never thought that we’d become friends because I never thought that I’d trust anyone again.

However, I felt curious to know him. We talked, we bonded and when he invited me to his place, I went without hesitation. I can’t describe the positive vibes I got from him but I felt safe and secure with him.

Though my mind warned me against trusting a stranger, my intuition pushed me to go ahead.

I knew that he wouldn’t hurt me. And my intuition came true. We shared the same bed but he did not touch me. He listened to my life story and tried to motivate me. He also shared his own experiences. I adored him from the first time we met. And that night was proof of his character.

He is the kind of guy who’d tell you the truth whether you liked it or not. He will never agree with you if you are wrong. He’ll not support you if he doesn’t believe you.

He does what he feels is right. And that is what inspired me.

He is full of energy and positivity. He knows how to live and cherish every moment of his life. He always says, “People will always demotivate you and use you. Nobody will praise you for your good work. Why waste your time thinking about such people? You are not here to entertain everyone because you cannot.”

He made me believe in myself. He made me understand that people don’t care about others’ emotions. They treat you according to their will, not theirs.

I have learned and am still learning so much from him.

I feel like I’ve known him for a long time. He is very clear about his goals. He doesn’t have any regrets nor does he hold any grudges. He believes that no one has the right to judge someone else. Only we can judge ourselves.

I admire him. I love to see him smile, I love the peaceful look on his face when he is asleep and the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about his goals. I look forward to his suggestions, which he shares without any selfish expectations.

Blue, you are my motivation, my inspiration, a true friend and so much more. I am so lucky that I have you in my life. I really like you.

I won’t call it love because it’s so much more than that.

Though we don’t say much to each other, I feel that everything is just perfect the way it is. I know you don’t want me to become emotional but I want to share my feelings with you.

I know that I feel something for you.

Tumse milne ki jitni khushi hoti hai, tumhare jane se utna hi dard hota hai. I can’t describe it in words, but you’re very special to me.

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