Like every other girl, I too had high expectations from my love life.
I was the only daughter and was considered to be the lucky charm for the family and pampered by everyone. I come from an orthodox family where everything happened according to traditions and family rules. I got married at the age of 21 even without seeing my husband's face. I saw him for the first time at the time during my ‘kanyadaan’.
I come from a family where relations were above everything else but my husband’s family was completely different.
I tried to adjust and stopped cursing my fate. However, I didn't give up on my studies even upon facing many hurdles and became the college topper. It was during this time that I met a guy who asked me out.
I bluntly rejected him. He tried several times and one day I said him that I can't marry him. But I didn't disclose that I'm married because I didn’t want to tell my story to everyone. We became good friends and slowly I started liking him as well.
I felt like he was the man I had dreamt about all my life. I made the worst mistake and accepted his love. Then I told my mother how my husband and I are merely two strangers sharing a bed and that I don’t want to be in that relationship.
I told her I wanted to divorce my husband.
She told me if I did so, she’ll commit suicide. I remained calm for a few months. However, one day I just told my boyfriend everything and apologized to him for hiding the truth.
He said that it's okay and that he still loved me. I felt so lucky to have him in my life. This continued for 3 years. Then I found changes in my man. Then started quarrels and complete misunderstandings. We solved them, however, his parents started forcing him to get married.
When he told me his parents wanted him to get married, I didn’t know what to do. Should I let him get married to someone else or ask him to wait for me?
I wasn’t sure about my life but I still asked him to wait for four months. In that time, we fought a lot, he started ignoring me. He had found someone else. I noticed it. He denied it but I know a man wouldn’t just “casually chat” with a girl at 2 am.
My parents agreed to get me divorced. When I told him about it, he started yelling at me. I was shocked, I knew this was because of the other girl.
What do I do now?
I did everything and bore every pain and now he loves another girl. He conveniently forgot what we shared for 5 years because he met a new girl.
He recently uploaded photos of his engagement. I feel so alone. My father has also stopped talking to me since I told him about the divorce. Now I realize the truth, he just used me. I got him expensive gifts and booked his cabs. I don’t think I can ever love again.