I Had An Arranged Marriage Because My Parents Didn't Let Me Marry The Man I Loved: I Still Love Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 19 January, 2017

Going by the famous saying, "Marriages are made in heaven but solemnised on earth," it does come true for almost all cases.

I am Roshni (name changed). I have been married for 3 years and I also have a one year old son now.

I belong to an upper middle class family and being the only daughter to my parents, I was pampered enough. As soon as I completed my education, I started working in the same company as my dad's in Mumbai.

Before starting my job, my parents had strictly warned me against falling in love with any of my colleagues. They said I shouldn't hamper my dad's reputation. I agreed blindly because what they said made sense, I thought.

I worked in a team where I was the only girl. In the beginning, it was mostly training for me with other team members. Slowly, I got comfortable with the team and started enjoying my work with them. I enjoyed their company. Movie outings, team lunches, and dinners slowly became a part of my routine. I was quite friendly with the team and vice versa. In the process, I fell in love with a guy named Arun (name changed) who was also a part of my team. Without any public announcement or proposal, it was understood that we were together.

The entire office used to talk about the two of us and I never really cared. He was a very supportive guy who loved me with all his heart and so did I.

Arun always said that if I gave my 10% to the relationship, he would give the remaining 90% and he swore by his words.

He was the most genuine guy I knew. I completely adored him. He made me feel special every day by doing the little things that I loved. All this was happening right under my dad's nose. As the talking among other colleagues increased, we started to maintain distance in office. However, we would regularly meet after office hours to spend some time together.

Every time I went out with him I had to lie at home saying we were going for a team dinner. I hated it but I had no choice. 

Everything was going good for us until my marriage discussion came up. I calmly listened to my parents. Their only concern at that point was to get me married and see me well settled. My mother is diabetic and my grandparents' only wish was to see me get married.

Without my knowledge my father made my profile on matrimonial sites. Soon calls, emails, and messages started pouring in from prospective grooms. I was made to go through profiles, I was also made to give my consent for further discussions with the guys' families. I managed to avoid most profiles and whichever I could not, I hid them so my parents couldn't see them.

Not too far into the future, my dad called a family over to see me. I kept myself calm in front of them and did not react much. But I could see that the family was very interested in getting their son married to me and my parents were happy too.

I finally had no option but to break the news to my parents that I was already in love with someone alse. I gradually revealed his name and it came as the biggest shock to them. They soon started their emotional blackmails. Weekends were torturous for me and I waited for them to get over soon. While all this was going on at home I kept convincing Arun and myself that things will change and we'll have a happy future together.

My parents, on the other hand, did everything to take me away from him. My mobile was confiscated, I was strictly asked to come home on time after office. My mother even threatened me to make me quit my job and move back to Bangalore.

I obviously didn't leave my job as office was the only place where I could see Arun. Now my dad also started keeping an eye on me and whenever he found me talking to Arun, he would come home and create a scene. All our special moments were snatched away from us — all our celebrations, his birthday, my birthday, our anniversary. 

Soon after I got transferred to Bangalore for a different project and my parents heaved a sigh of relief. But they never realised that when it comes to pure love, the place does not matter. I shifted back to Bangalore and continued my relationship.

I did cry on a few occasions when I missed Arun. We used to speak for a night at stretch sometimes. This continued for a year. We did meet a few times in between, either he would come down to Bangalore or I would fly to Mumbai. A year later my parents also shifted back and this was when the discussion about my marriage kicked off. Again.

My mother would cry day and night as if I had committed a big crime by falling in love with a person from another community. Slowly, emotional blackmails became threats and warnings. I pleaded them to at least meet Arun once but they refused.

I kept telling them how good a guy he was and how much he loved me. His family supported me throughout. His sister and mother were extremely supportive of our relationship. 

Finally, the day arrived when my dad gave me a choice — either get married to Arun and break all ties with them or break all ties with them and get married to a guy of their choice.

They had left me with no practical option. I had to finally give up on my struggle of two years and I broke up. All this happened on the phone. I curse myself for not giving him a chance to even meet me one last time. I curse myself for hurting an innocent guy like him. I tried my best to give him my 10% but I guess I failed. I curse myself for not being able to stand up for the guy I loved so much. I curse myself for everything that happened.

Arun was never at fault. His fault was that he was a gentleman and he loved me. In the whole ordeal he maintained his dignity.

However, I thank God a hundred times everyday that I got a chance to love someone as genuine and pure as him. I consider myself lucky to have met someone like him in my life.

Finally my parents won the battle and today I am married to a guy of their choice. I have been blessed with a baby boy who means the world to me. But I do ask myself one question everyday, “Am I happy?” and I still have no answers for it. I still love him and he will always hold a very special place in my heart.

Editor's Note:

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