I Am Being Tortured Everyday At Home Because I Fell In Love Without Caring About His Caste

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 15 February, 2017

I am a 25 year old woman living in Delhi. I am an artist trying to make a place for myself in this big bad world. But my fault is that I belong to a "Jat" family as I was told since as long as I remember. I grew up watching my father beat up my mother over petty issues and I still remember that day, which is engraved in my soul.

I was very little, my father had beaten up my mother and we were constantly crying on the kitchen floor cursing my father. Today, I had to suffer the same.

Being in an Indian society, marriages are given so much importance our entire lives that everything else fades away. I always thought marriage was something that was supposed to happen when you find love, state of mind to be married, and when you're ready to move to the new phase of life, but my parents could only think of one reason, that was “I am of the age” so I should get married. But I never intended on agreeing for an arranged marriage because that’s not how it was supposed to be. 

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I always wanted to be an artist and start my own business. After fighting for months and months my parents let me pursue a career for which I worked alone for days and nights. Now they want me to go for an arranged marriage. I have been dating a guy for more than 2 years now, who I love with all of my heart and he's been with me throughout my startup journey. He works full-time but still helps me in my work and looks out for my dreams, keeping his aside at times.

The only problem is (according to my parents); he belongs to a different caste.

We all have forgotten the real problem now. It was never a fight or debate between love marriages and arranged marriages. It was always a fight for "Freedom of choice". Because we are different individuals and our hearts and relationships work in different ways. I mean, I am an introvert, my parents always insisted upon not letting a boy be my good friend, but now they want me to meet a guy for 20 minutes and decide whether I want to marry him or not. It's ironical because even making friends is a tough task for me.

I have very selected close friends. My parents had their own rules when it comes to befriending boys when I was younger but when it comes to arranged marriages, they changed their rules in a jiffy.

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When I shared my thoughts with my parents, this after accumulating lots and lots of courage, I was tortured. I was physically beaten up by my father at this age, also by my alcoholic uncle. I was called bad names, I was mentally tortured.

I am still being tortured, I am now on a house arrest and for what? I read it somewhere: “Religion was made for people, people were not made for religion.” I hope they'd cave in and understand my feelings but it hasn’t happened yet. The guy I chose is the nicest, most supportive man I know and his family is great, open minded, supportive and loving but my parents haven’t even given it a thought because he’s from a different caste. Such aggressive behaviour at home has started giving me panic attacks; I am suffering from depression and still hoping for the best.

I wish it was that simple, if you love someone and you are completely sure of growing with him and his family, then love marriage shouldn’t be opposed. At the same time, if you are the kind of person who would prefer an arranged marriage, then choose that.

“Freedom of choice” is the real issue. I am being beaten up because I fell in love and I didn’t care about caste.
Author's Note:

Stop with this violence. Never stop fighting for the right thing. I am still fighting and still staying strong.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because the society needs to grow up!