I Followed My Heart And Realized That My Weakness Is My Strength

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I know I don’t have the right to intrude in your personal lives and teach you the aspects of life, which stop you from accomplishing your deeds gracefully, but if I were given a choice to do this over-and-over again, then trust me, I would do it again.

For me, depicting stories that have a truth, a reality, is my way of saying that I care about people a lot more than they do.

It gives me immense pleasure to help another person and yet, not expect anything in return as that deed is done in exchange of nothing but prayers; prayers for the well-being of my family, my loved ones and the people around me.

Call it selflessness or something highly selfish, but I would continue doing it, as I believe that my existence has a meaning and I shall always be highly grateful for the life I’ve been blessed with.

This life has a meaning that shall never change, a meaning that signifies how beautiful and precious life is.

I am honoured to be a human who has a life of her own and has the joy of being able to feel it, experience it and breathe it all in. It takes one life to know another, and only one being can understand another. Tears will cloud your eyes while reading this paragraph but I assure you that I too have drowned myself in words while recollecting my phrases word-by-word.

I would like to share my life story with all of you in the coming months alongside some fantastic and exciting news. Hopefully, by the end of this year (December to be precise), I’ll be happily married with a family of my very own, and that is the month when this article will be available for everyone to read. I can’t possibly thank you’ll enough for all the love and the prayers that have come my way.

It’s truly an honor to be able to reach out to so many people with my stories and inspire them.

I hope that I can share more stories shortly as well. Writing this article (or letter) has made me realize just how much it takes for an ordinary girl like me to reach out to people who have consoled me in my good and bad times through these articles. After every article is published, I wait for the response and feedback I get from the publishers and all of you, just to know if at all my articles have melted your hearts.

The feedback inspires me to keep doing my best in the future articles and gather more readers. That’s how motivating your response is for me.

It pushes me to continue what I have started and I believe that is all it takes to finish what I’ve started.

Leaving it halfway clearly makes no sense to me. I still remember the day I started writing my very first article about my Baba. I was dreading the day it would be published, and I would be left with nothing but sadness overpowering me to stop what I’d started. Regardless of the start, I aimed to finish it and let nature take its course.

I was lucky enough to have such luck on my side. The Almighty Allah didn’t let me down. He made sure that I excelled in what I started. And see! Today, I am writing my fourth article, and hopefully, I shall continue to write more. It’s the faith that has kept me going on.

I believe that it takes courage to keep that faith ignited in our hearts to do something with our lives without worrying about the result because “good work never goes unnoticed”.

Despite the turmoil, you will always find your success in the end, based on my personal experience. I don’t know which direction this article is headed towards, but I’m hoping that in the end, the gist of it is clear to everyone.

As I was saying, no one (not even my parents) ever suggested that I pursue writing as a profession. All along, I knew that I was going to become an entrepreneur/lawyer. I was all prepped to pursue LLB, handle my Baba’s business, learn management skills from him and take care of my house. Everything was set for me. And I abided by it. Nothing distracted or discouraged me.

The idea of writing had not popped into my mind even once. However, I’d been writing my thesis for a long period until I got bored. The very next thing I did was open Microsoft Word and write on-and-on about my Baba (I forgot to mention that that very morning, I had quarrelled with my Baba about something that I vaguely remember).

Perhaps it was that tension that drove me to write about the relationship between my father and me.

Hence from that writing, you could gather the bittersweet relationship that every father-daughter and father-son shares. See! Writers are realistic, logical people who share their personal stories through their writings, which become their medium of expression.

We abruptly start our journey without much logical thought, and the next thing you know is that we find our medium of expression. Be it happiness, worry, sorrow, anger, frustration or even boredom; everything is poured on pieces of paper for that is the pathway for being expressive and open.

No matter how ridiculous or way-out-of-line the sequences are, at least our words aren’t failing to depict what we want to say or express.

Writers can mingle well with papers to speak their hearts out when needed. The only requirement for it is authenticity. Gradually, after a point, their hands may ache, but the brain and the heart won't stop. Pouring their heart out is their ulterior motive. That’s how writers rock-and-roll with their feelings. Anyway, I am not being partial or taking sides. I’m sure that all other jobs are splendid too. But it's just not my cup-of-tea.

So you see, that’s how I started my journey into becoming a full-time writer. Have I done anything wrong? Please feel free to share your thoughts. Taking into account where I was heading, my parents suggested that I get my priorities straight and fulfil my duties in the right way.

I thought about where it was leading me but I didn’t overdo anything, as I believed that “whatever happens, happens for the best” and rest assured, it did in my case.

Had I resented it back then, I probably wouldn’t have been able to stand with pride and honour today. I had foreseen some hindrance in the profession I was previously pursuing, but instead of overthinking and troubling my not-so-smart brain, I decided to leave it.

I was too sure about my decision, so I left my LLB degree to pursue something big enough for my soul and me. Rest assured, I am content with my decision. I would rather fail in my LLB undergrad then not have a backup career option at hand.

Writing feeds my soul while my law degree fed the society.

Which one do you think is better? Of course, something that feeds my soul. I am a wise human being and am ready to let my guards down. I am all for taking risks even if it hurts me at first. At least that way, I can explore myself and be a bit more of me than what the society expects me to be. Don’t you think?

Earlier, failure wasn’t an option for me but has it ever occurred to you or anyone for that matter that perhaps failing is what keeps one going non-stop at making attempts to succeed in life?

I’m not anyone to decide what is right/wrong, correct/incorrect, legal/illegal for you but I do have a say and a perspective that no one can change. The moral of the story is that I’m not depicting society’s attitude on a specific topic, rather I’m punching the human heart till it aches and hoping that it brings some sense into the world to change.

From the worst to the best is what change can bring about.

The society we live in has certain norms that are strictly followed, but if this society cannot accept one’s beliefs and values, then I’d prefer that the society dies so that others can bring peace to the world. Oddly enough, I do not see that happening these days. Some days have black clouds written all over them while the other days just pass by enduring the last storm that struck the field.

Needless to say, everyone strives for a happy ending.

Have we failed as humans to keep our feet on the ground without the chances of falling? Or have we lost our strengths altogether to bring about the best in us? In an attempt to risk it all for a wish/desire, have we failed to understand the society and its way-out-of-our-league norms?

Does the society expect too much from us or have we filled our brains too much about society’s expectations?

Is it too late to let the society understand our desires and us while also understanding why we are so blunt about our feelings and emotions when it comes to our priorities? Whatever the notion is, society is a great influence in the way we think, talk, breathe, walk and behave. Society is what makes us whosoever we are today.

The values instilled in us come from the society we live in.

Beggars are beggars for a reason. Sheltered-homes have a way of living that is beyond my understandings. Rickshaw pullers live their lives differently and are accustomed to it. We (rich kids or families hailing from lavish backgrounds) can never get accustomed to living a minority lifestyle where food is available just once a day; there is no hot water, no electricity, no TV or gadgets or visa-cards or expensive shopping, nothing at all.

The values differ enormously from one class to another, and it's difficult to get habituated to it. Ordinary people have ordinary sentiments to follow. The same goes for exceptional people. But one thing will always be the same despite this class difference, and that is reputation.

Respect and honor hold the same meaning for all beings despite their class barriers.

A beggar will also go to any extent for his/her respect and honour. No one can bear humiliation caused by dishonouring one’s pride. Even if it is brought by circumstances, one will still stand up and fight back. Having said that I do believe that norms, values, and reputation are all built on the ability one has; the ability to strive, fit and mingle.

A man who is hungry enough will never let anything get in his way to fit into this world and strive to survive because one has to mingle to live.

Bravery, courage, and hunger allow a man to let his feet rest on the ground rather than stumble with fear of being rejected on the face of the Earth. Remember, earlier I had mentioned a perspective about how wise a human being I am to have let my guards down and ensure that I stick around to enjoy my journey through the exploration of myself and to understand my inner self more deeply. Well, this is where I was heading.

I haven’t allowed myself to get weak after my failures, as I’ve always had faith in myself and have known that I will shine if I follow my heart. My weakness is my strength. Guarding myself against falling apart will only move me and shake me. Fear will overtake my strength and make me feel weak rather than strong. Having known that I am far stronger mentally than I am physically, I allowed my heart to take over the possession of my body and mind while letting my heart feed my mind.

Obstacles will only give me the strength to be a better version of me, which was why I challenged myself to fail because I knew that the end would only lead me to the path of success.

Hence, instead of spending a year loitering around, I decided to follow what my heart was seeking. It was unknown to me, but at least my journey to the unknown would be known to my destiny and not be sabotaged by failure. Thus, my journey to becoming an author started.

My first article “Dear Baba” touched many hearts. There is a link to my social site and also my email address to write personally to me. I wish to read all your letters and responses with the hope to answer them as quickly as I possibly can. Also, please bear in mind that if at any instance, I don’t write back to you then I’m genuinely sorry for the inconvenience, as there could be situations or circumstances that need my attention hence the delay.

But I assure you that I’ll quickly wrap up my work and get back to you’ll with a detailed response to the letters I receive. With that being said, I also wish to meet my readers in person whenever I am in the USA or London. It’s a promise from one friend to another to share some talk over tea or coffee, whichever is preferred more. Such friendly chitchats are highly recommended.

These are the many wishes that I have, and I hope that I can successfully fulfil them shortly. As for my future articles, they are on the backburner for now as topics are being thought through.

The main reason that my writing has paused is that I’m lacking motivation.

Mood swings, the change in climate and change in the environment is disrupting my process and intruding my privacy. Hence I decided to stop and breathe. Let my positivity sink through, and I’ll soon be moving mountains.

Till then, please bear my break and pray for my prosperity. With that thought in mind, I end this article on a positive note and hope to return soon with new topics that will not only enrich your minds but also satisfy your souls. Have a lovely day ahead, be happy, live well, stay fit and may all of you prosper in life. Ameen.

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