I Finally Agreed To Divorce My Wife And Marry Her Instead

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 11 December, 2017

I belonged to an amazing group of friends. I was loved by all my relatives. I had a good name in our society and had a highly reputed job. A common friend introduced us because both of us were looking out for our life partners.

 When we met for the first time, we did not like each other.

I am a very straightforward person. When I am in a relationship, if I say something, it will never be related to the person’s background.

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I asked her if she would be friends with me even though both of us did not want to get married to each other. She agreed.

We texted each other and then moved on to chatting with each other. Whenever I visited Delhi, I would meet her and spend a few hours with her. We would visit the monuments in Delhi and have our dinner together.
Slowly we started liking each other. The photographs that we took during this time clearly indicate that we were trying to convert our relationship into a permanent one.

I belong to a family where people still believe that marriages are fixed in heaven and matching kundlis is essential.

Our kundlis did not match. I asked her whether she minded continuing with our friendly relationship till we got married to our individual partners. She was OK with it. She did not express this to me but she somehow believed that we would find a way to get married.

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My parents were forcing me to get married. They were asking me to consider the alliances that they were showing me. I was fed up with the entire thing. So I told them to do whatever they wanted. They shortlisted 3 alliances and I told her about it.

She saw all the three photographs and told me to choose one.

Even at this stage, she did not express her true feelings for me. She should have told me that she was not happy with what was going on in my life and that we should somehow figure out how to get married.

I did not know what she was feeling. I thought she was OK with it.

It was time for me to say, “Yes” to one of the girls. My parents thought one particular girl was a good match for me. I was not convinced about it and said, “No” to that girl. But they pressurized me and I said, “OK.” After my marriage was fixed I did not talk to my parents for several weeks. I did not share the news about my marriage with her or anyone else.

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We met after a while and she somehow intuitively guessed that I was getting married soon. Even then she did not reveal her true emotions.

She did not say that she was scared of losing out on our friendship. I was supposed to get engaged after 2 months. On the day of my engagement, I tried to convince myself that marriages are truly made in heaven and I should not say, “No” to the girl at this stage. Keeping these thoughts in mind, I got engaged to a girl that I did not like.

I met her in Delhi again. I was about to tell her about my engagement when she took my mobile to check if something was amiss in my life. She controlled her emotions and I too did the same. I realized that I had developed feelings for her.

When I saw that she too felt the same way for me, I realized that she was the girl I had always wanted to get married to.

Days flew quickly and I started falling more deeply in love with her. I was in a dilemma and did not know which to choose – destiny or love. I decided to break off my marriage and started finding fault with my fiancée and her parents.

I cried in front of my family but I could not convince them about how I was feeling because I was unable to disclose the real reason to them.
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We both continued talking and she convinced me to break off my marriage even though it was just a week away. The day I was supposed to get married finally arrived. I was unable to break my marriage. I got married with a broken heart. I had not even seen my wife so far.  I performed all the rituals but they seemed like a mere formality to me. I took all the oaths in her name.

My wife was now living with me and I was in a dilemma because I did not know what to do now. I never went near her. I did not even talk to her.

I left my wife to meet her. We spent a few days together and I thought it would be the last time we met. But it never happened. We continued talking and I fell more and more in love with her. I did not touch my wife at all. Now her parents were pressurizing her to get married and she said, “Yes.” I decided to end our relationship now. But we could not do so.

We decided that I would divorce my wife and she would break off her marriage.

As days passed, the news of our married life started spreading. My relatives and the people in our society knew that our marriage was not working out. People started blaming me and they assumed that I was impotent. They said that my father had insisted that I accept this proposal.

But only I knew the real reason –I was fighting for my love.
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My family now started cursing me for the situation that I had created for them. They were scared that we would all be put in jail if a dowry case was filed against us. But I was firm. I wanted her by my side and was ready to go to jail for the love of my life. I fought against my parents, my relatives, my wife, her relatives and the entire society.

She promised me that she will break off her marriage.

She tried to do so too and gave several reasons to her family. She said she did not like the boy. But they were not convinced. She knew that her marriage would not work. Things were not good at my end too. We knew that I may be jailed and that my parents and close relatives may also be jailed. We were aware that such cases could go on for 2 or 3 years. But still, I fought for our love.

So far the loss had been only mine. But now my family and I had to face the accusations of our entire society.

They were saying really bad things about us. But I stood firm. I wanted to fight for my love because this was about our future. It was time to take a stand now. My in-laws agreed to a divorce by mutual consent. I was on cloud nine.

The battle that we had fought together was finally drawing to a close and we were winning.

She met me in Delhi 40 days before her marriage. She then went home because the functions of her marriage had started. She stopped calling me and taking my calls too. This was 35 days prior to her marriage.

I messaged her and told her that my wife and I were going in for a divorce by mutual consent. But there was no response.  She did not pick my calls.

I went to her house to meet her. I wanted to convince her parents about our love. But she refused to listen to me. She asked me not to open that topic again and asked me to go back. I had gone to give her strength. But she told me to go back. She said let the marriage happen. She said she will come back to me one day after she got married.

She said that she too will apply for a divorce. But she said that she could not give me an exact date and tell me when this would happen.

I returned home and spent sleepless nights. I decided to fight this battle again because we both had been into this for so long.  I asked her to fix a meeting for me with parents. But she did not do this. After making several calls, her father agreed to meet me outside the house. While we were discussing things, he told me that he had never heard of me before this. He then told me, “You may be her friend. But she has many friends.” I told him that she was not happy with the person that she was getting married to. He told me that I need not bother about her happiness because I had known her only for the past two years.

I was speechless. I could not explain the relationship that I shared with his daughter to him. I wished that she had been there with me at that time. Maybe she could have explained about the bond that we shared to her father in a better manner and told him about how much we loved each other.

I know that calling off a marriage 14 days before the wedding date is a big problem in the Indian society. But if there is a genuine reason and a story behind it, we should decide accordingly. She did not share anything about our relationship with her family. She had inspired me to call off my marriage 10 days before we were supposed to get married. But she was finding it difficult to do so even 14 days before her wedding date.

I was completely broken. I did not know where to go and what to do.

She had set all the rules of our love life. I had followed each and every rule that she had created but she could not follow even one rule. I don’t have any grudges against her. I want to tell her only one thing. If she had told the truth to her parents, the story would have been different.

I had crossed the ocean for a person who could not even walk over a puddle for me. I had left my job. My father has planned to retire prematurely because he has to settle the case with the money he had saved for my sister’s marriage.

I am an impotent man in the eyes of society. My father is a devil who only thought about bringing a daughter-in-law into his house. But I have one satisfaction. I emerged as a fighter – a person who fought for the love that he truly believed in, until the very end.

The consequences of law and the society did not shatter the love that I had for her. She shattered the love that I had for her. I have changed from a lovable boy to a person whom nobody wants to have.
Editor's Note:

Are things always in our control? Can we change our destiny using our free will? We may never get the answers to such questions. But we can always do our best to use our free will to create a peaceful love filled life for ourselves. Let’s share this young man's story so that he gets the courage to do so.