I Don't Know If I'm Good Enough For The Girl Of My Dreams

Vignesh Manickam Vignesh Manickam in Your Story on 22 August, 2017

Everyone has their own dreams in life, and about the kind of life partner they want to live with. Either one gets the girl they dream about or they get into a relationship with someone totally different, and start a new dream with her. When dreams turn into reality, it is indeed amazing.

One day, I saw my dream girl. No actually, I saw a girl whom I started dreaming about.

In our dreams, we tend to expect unrealistically but even in reality, she exceeds the threshold set in my dreams. She's got chubby cheeks, sparkling eyes, tempting lips and when she looks at you, her lips and cheeks become a deadly weapon - powerful enough to kill you, and oh her eyes! Even though I try my best to avoid her gaze, I cannot because it continues to mesmerize me.

Uff, she has got goddamn good looks and words cannot be enough to describe such a beauty.

But yes, we all face instances in life where we have to either follow our heart or our brain. Most of the times, we tend to follow our hearts and here I chose the same. Who wouldn’t want to be the hero of such a super-heroine? Well, falling in love was the easy bit for me, but to make such a girl fall for me is the toughest thing in the world.

I don't know how we end up hoping and trying even though we know it is like expecting rain in the desert. I later thought that if I am dreaming about her, she must be dreaming of her perfect life and ideal love, too. I felt like I simply had to be a part of it, to live her dream with her, but maybe I am not worthy enough. I am just ordinary, unsuccessful and ugly, not exactly the kind of person worthy enough to be in her dream scenario. When something takes you back one step in life, another thing takes you two steps further, and falling is easier than facing challenges. We should observe things and be aware of them as they are. Unless and until I know her tastes, preferences, and expectations from her ideal life partner, I cannot become a part of her life. If I keep all my love for her to myself, she will remain just a dream that will not turn into reality.

When I think about our future together, all my insecurities start surfacing in my mind, giving me even more reasons for which she may reject me.

I do not know anything about her past and I am nonexistent in her present, yet I can’t stop myself from dreaming about having a future together with her. Will it ever happen? I can go ahead and give it a try, but at the same time, I fear rejection. What if she is not interested in me? What if she is already in a relationship? What if she likes someone else? Then I start questioning God, asking Him why he made our paths cross? All these negative thoughts consume me endlessly. I look at myself and how ugly I am, and I think that I am taking away her right to dream. I feel like a fool for dreaming of her. If she likes me back, then our story would end up being a beautiful love story but if she doesn’t, then it would be nothing but a tragedy. Then there is the reality of life. Why am I thinking about her and holding her in such a high regard, because what if I get her and she becomes mine, then I fail in life? And if I don’t get her, even then I fail at life.

Oh God, you have created this beautiful thing called love but one life is simply not enough to ponder over it.

How would things be if I didn’t love her? She would probably be happy regardless, and I would live happily seeing her happy. It does make sense, because both of us would be happy and life would continue to move on. Why can things not be this simple? I continue to dream about her, without wanting to be with her, and she continues to have her own dreams about her life. I wish I had someone to dream about me. Until then, my dream will never end. I am a loser and a winner in this case because even though I may lose her, I will not let go of my dream. When I think about it, it seems like I have given myself to her. Why am I doing this to myself, not even daring to give it a single chance? This is not a happy ending, yet I don’t want it to end. She looks gorgeous and I look ugly, this is the reality. Yes, people say that love is blind but I believe that she would have her own dreams, and so if she rejects me I will only get to keep her in my dreams and not in reality. Well, this all sounds good but what if she is committed? What if she is not?

Well, maybe I will give it a shot. I guess finally the good sense in me has awaken.

What is love? It is trusting and caring for each other, regardless of how the other looks or how much he earns. Maybe if I feel like this, maybe she thinks the same and would like me too. I have decided that she’s going to be a part of my life now. I just need to figure out how. Maybe I will start with reaching out to her friends, or maybe I will propose to her directly. But how do I manage to introduce myself to her? Oh God, please help me now because you are the one who put me in this situation so you have to put me through it.

Wait, doesn’t every girl have a thing for stories? I can write a story for her and I will give it to her with a note. Maybe I will play the main lead in this story. Sounds good to me.

So here goes: “Hmmm, hey you! Yes, you. May I be with you throughout your life? I know this sounds strange but I promise that I will be the reason behind your smile forever. I love you! I want to spend my life with you. I want to live happily with you and I want you, just you."

Editor's Note:

Share this story because life is too short and love too precious to not be given a chance.