I Do Not Want To See A Single Glimpse Of My Emotionally Dead Father In My Partner

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 28 April, 2018

Are you aware of the Oedipus complex? For those who are hearing of it for the first time, let me lay out for you, it is basically a psychological term used to refer to a childhood stage wherein a child wishes for a sexual relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. So for instance, a girl child will strive for a relationship with the father and vice versa. I am sure all the girls out there must have adored their fathers and loved them more than mothers as a kid, or maybe you still do.

This is a natural instinct you see and so when you choose your lover or husband, unconsciously, you tend to choose a person who somewhat matches all the traits you saw in your father. It even goes to the extent of subconsciously choosing someone with similar physical features and facial features as the parent.

A sense of security and protection comes with the unspoken bond that gets included in the relationship with lover/husband because that's what your father did for you his entire life - to give you a happy childhood and a prosperous adulthood. But what if there is a certain deviation, some anomalous behaviour from the regular pattern? Since not even all the products manufactured in a factory are identical, there certainly one or two exceptions.

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I am not complaining by saying that the father I received is a not a "regular" father. He in every way is a nice father who taught me how to read and write, provided me with proper education, a shelter with comfort , food to relish, things to entertain, best attire to clad, but he failed to become a good father and so I failed to become a good daughter .

I am not angry with him, neither because he rebuked me for my obstinate conduct nor because he forced marriage. I'm angry with you dear dad, because you told me something I had never thought in my wildest dreams that you could say, to hush my voice because of one who gets raped hides it and does not put it on a public display. I have lived all my life thinking that you'll support me one day when I disclose you this bitter truth of my life but what I witnessed was something I had never dreamt of. I didn't expect you to go and take any action, but I definitely expected empathy for a daughter from her father. I had read somewhere, “too many expectations can leave you in tears”. You made me realize how.

I can never love you like that anymore nor would I like to love a man like you, I am a daughter who wishes to love a man who is not yet dead emotionally.
Editor's Note:

Share this story because parents are humans too and they can make mistakes. People need to realize that parents are not godly and they can damage their children, too. It is heartbreaking but is very much real.