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I Chose Him To Be The Love Of My Life And I Don't Know How I Went Wrong

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

One day, I got a call from my consultant. He asked me if I could attend the interview for a particular post in a very reputed MNC. I was very excited, but I don’t know what made me say, “No” to him. This was a job change that I had always been waiting for. Yeah, I had other reasons as well. I had to travel for the whole day to attend the interview. I thought it would be difficult for me to do so at that point of time. My cousins accused me of letting go of a great opportunity. They thought I was using a lame excuse to do so. They knew that I was a person who was passionate about travelling. It was the only thing I didn’t mind spending time and money on. But I had already told the consultant that I would not be attending the interview. So I decided not to change my mind. 

It all started with this interview. After the security check, I went to the visitors’ area and waited there. A few other people came there. I did not make any attempt to talk to them because I was so busy observing the surroundings. The people who came there were directed to different blocks.

I was seated there with a guy. It looked like he was appearing for the same interview as mine. Someone came out and told him to head towards a particular block. The same person asked me to follow him to the block. Somehow, I reached the interview block even before the other person came there. Someone from the HR department came out and asked me to wait. The other interviewee now reached the HR block, saw me waiting and smiled at me. I told him that the HR person had told us to wait here. 

We introduced ourselves as we sat there. He started conversing with me and his conversation seemed to have no end. I wasn't interested but did not want to insult him either. So I paid attention. He continued to talk. Finally, after a long wait, an HR person called us for the first round of the interview.

To my surprise, he was waiting outside for me after he finished his interview. We finished all the rounds. I was all set to head back to my place when he offered me coffee. I was very tired and exhausted, so accepted his offer. We went to the company cafeteria and sat down there with our coffee.

He started talking again. By the time I had left, he had told me every minute detail about his friends, family and work. I had hardly uttered a word. I said, "Bye" to him and left the place. On the way back home, I got his first message. He said, “Hi! This is me. It was nice talking to you.” He then said that he had got my number from the résumé that I had handed over to the HR department. I said, “OK.” I then received a few more messages. I replied formally to them. I reached home.

A few days after the interview, I got a WhatsApp message on a normal working day. It was a good morning message from the same guy. I replied after 2-3 hours because I was wondering whether I should reply or not.

I finally decided to reply and the conversation continued and we ended up chatting. We now discussed things about our work, travel and the interview. I tried not to reveal any personal information to him.

I decided to drop the offer that I got from the company. All this happened while we were chatting. But eventually, we started calling each other and I started liking him.

I think what I felt for him was actually sympathy. He had been through an abusive childhood.

Meanwhile, my family had started looking out for a groom for me. While all these things were happening on my home front, he proposed to me. I could see that coming and I had told him to wait. It took me some time to say, "Yes."

Again I felt what I felt for him was actually sympathy and concern. I think I cared for him more than I loved him. And I really felt sorry about his childhood.

I decided to tell my family about him. My family was against it initially because he belonged to a different caste and state. The culture in his family was different. The status of our families was different too. He didn’t have a good job. He didn’t get the job that we both had been interviewed for. My mom supported me and things finally happened the way I wanted them to. Once my mom said, “OK” to the guy, my family supported my decision. His cousins too were in touch with me. We started preparing for the big day and the bond between us strengthened. We dreamt of creating a new life for ourselves.

He was very particular that my mom should stay with us after we got married because she was a single parent. He knew I was very attached to her.

Finally, I was thrilled when the day came. I dressed up and my mom was so very happy for me. The wedding rituals were conducted as per our plan. While we were on our way back to his home, he changed the plan suddenly and we got into another vehicle.

I sensed something was wrong for the first time. We reached his house at 12 a.m. but left the place to stay in a hotel because he did not want to stay with his family. All this happened when I was still wearing my bridal attire.

My sister called to check on me and I told her that we had reached home at around 8.30 p.m. I actually did not want her to know what had just happened. We reached a hotel at around 1.30 a.m. and checked in. He asked me to check in with my details because the people of that locality knew him. I did what he asked me to do.

We stayed in the hotel for 3 days but neither his family nor his cousins called him up. When my sister called, I lied to her and told her that we were at his house. On the fourth day, we came back to my place.

I was shocked when he started behaving abnormally. He started sitting in a room and locked himself up in it.

He did have a work from home option so I thought he was working. But it happened even in my presence. He did the same thing even on weekends. My mom felt bad because he never spoke to her, my cousins or friends. By the time I realized that his behaviour was abnormal, my mom told me that she was leaving the place. She thought that my husband was behaving like this because of her. I did not allow her to go.

When I spoke to him, he said he had always been like that. He said, “You must have expected a lot from me while we were talking and I must have portrayed myself as a different person.” I could not comprehend what I had heard.

We had overlooked their financial status and all other things before I decided to get married to him. I just expected him to be a son to my mom and a good husband to me.

And here, he was not even taking the effort to communicate properly with us. I tried to talk to him many times. But he ignored my efforts.

Much to my surprise, his family had not even contacted me so far. One fine day, he told me that he had gone through psychiatric treatment because he was suffering from insomnia and depression. He said he had been under medication for a year.

I was shattered. I regretted my decision of getting married to him now. I was scared that he would try and harm my mom in my absence.

She stayed all alone at home on weekdays with him and my office is quite far from my house. I had lied to my family for him. My family members had asked me several questions about his background and I had done my level best to avoid all of them. Now, I regretted my decision of ignoring their questions.

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