I Can’t Go Back To My Husband Nor Can I Be With The Guy I Love

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 9 October, 2017

I am a married woman with two little children. My life after marriage hasn’t been very pleasant. Though my husband is a soft-spoken, sweet and a wonderful father, I have faced a lot of negativity from him.

Whenever I've asked him for anything, his first response was always 'no' and then a very unwilling yes. Any opinion I've shared was always criticized and scrutiny was all I got.

There came a time when l unknowingly started distancing myself from him.
Advertisement

It could be because I knew that my words meant nothing to him. He never bothered to even listen to what I said. Soon, I realized that I had no emotional support from him whatsoever.

Any time that he pretended or tried to sit with me would always end up in sex, and I hated being the person who was needed only for sex. People may think that I am probably overreacting by saying that these things made my life unpleasant.

But people fail to understand that there is something called as 'emotional abuse' and this is what it feels like.

By this time, I was desperately in need of companionship and attention. So I started connecting with my old friends from college. My friends and I decided to meet, after almost 8 odd years of college. And they brought a new person with them.

Advertisement

He was instantly attracted to me, and I could see the disappointment on his face when my friends told him that I was married. After that first meet, we started talking online and over the phone. I happened to visit his city and so we decided to meet for lunch.

He wanted to keep our meeting a secret and not tell our common friends about it. Soon after this meeting he proposed to me, and God knows why, but I said yes.

We did not know the future of our relationship, but those phone calls with him felt heavenly.

I had to visit his city again for a wedding and this time, we decided to stay together at his place. Till today, that is the most wonderful time I’ve had in my life. We felt that we were perfect for each other. These visits continued, but he wanted to keep it all a complete secret. He was very particular about it.

However, my husband got to know about it. He was completely shocked and in tears. He wanted me to come back; he even promised that he'd change. He tried being nice too.

Advertisement
Though I had gone too far away from him, I could not make the decision of leaving him because of my kids.

When I told the other guy what had happened, he was furious with me for being careless. He wanted me to stop all contact with him till things settled down. But I could not wait for even a day without hearing his voice, so I kept calling him.

This enraged him further, as he was worried for my children and me. So he started distancing himself from me. I was extremely confused by this and started doubting his intentions.

I spoke to a guy from our group of friends, and asked him to help me. This guy pretended to be supportive and understanding, but went and discussed this with all our other friends. And when everyone started to question us, he became angrier and broke up with me.

He said that I betrayed his trust. But I feel that he values his friends more than me.

And now the others tell me that he is a womanizer!

Advertisement

I am totally confused as to whom to trust. And I feel completely broken because I've lost him forever. On the other hand my husband, who knows everything, still wants me back.

He is trying to change and I can see it.

But I am still in love with the other guy. I am not able to go back to my husband as my heart longs for the other guy. I am not happy nor do I have any peace in life.

Though my husband is still waiting for me, I don't know how to go back to him!

I feel so stupid to have spoiled my life like this. I guess I'm not mature enough to handle life. And I don't know what to do now!

Editor's Note:

You may have heard of something like this before but this happens all too often. Nobody belongs to you so absolutely that you can take them for granted, and that never ends well. Share this story so that couples can treat each other more respectfully before it's too late.