It all began when I asked my friend for her number. She promised to share it under the condition that I don’t flirt with her because she was very wary of guys. I promised and took her number.
We casually started texting each other and slowly the texts became comfortable and we became close.
We would call each other with our own little nicknames, tease each other with random people and still be completely normal when we saw each other in public, pretending not to be together.
We became so close that she wanted to be the first person to wish me on my birthday.
I already had a list of friends who wanted to do the same but I decided that she was more important. So, I got a new number, which I shared only with her. I would speak to her for at least an hour when the clock struck 12 on my birthday, ignoring all the buzzing on my original number.
She was always elated to be was the first one to wish me and I cherished her happiness.
Slowly, we started holding hands in public but ensured that none of our friends saw it. I grew even fonder of her after hearing about her past. She had a troubled past and her lack of trust in men seemed to stem from it.
I promised myself that I’d be her savior and ensure that I protect her the way Batman guards Gotham city.
She’d finally started trusting me on par with her girlfriends and our friendship was soon heading towards love. It was only a matter of time before we fell for each other.
On one long bus journey home, she sat next to me as we spoke about the events of the day. When we were about to reach our place, I stood up. She pulled my shirt and asked me not to go. She wanted to keep traveling with me forever.
We were head over heels for each other, madly in love and desperate to get married.
When we got done with college, I had to move out of town for higher studies while she got a job. Our calls continued but once in a day reduced to once in two days, once a week and later once a month.
I ended up falling for another girl and broke up with her.
She cried for an entire week trying to forget me. While I was happy I had another girl, I failed to realize the pain she had to go through.
I had become the exact kind of man she was skeptical of being with.
I gave her assurance, love, and false hope and then I broke her heart. I turned out to be the very person she never wanted in her life.
To make matters worse, her marriage was fixed and then canceled just a week before the wedding day. Imagine such a situation for a girl in our society! It would seem like the end of the world for many but she overcame that as well.
She ignored all her worries and continued to grow in life.
She is now happily married and lives with someone who is taking care of her more than anyone else can. I stalk her at times but only through whatever little information I can gather from someone else.
She has blocked me from her life but I would have preferred if she’d told me to my face that not all men are bad and I was never worth a shooting star like her.
I’m happy to have had her in my life but the worst feeling is not having her forever.
That is a guilt that I will take to my grave.