I Am Not Allowed To Keep In Touch With My Best Friend Because He Got Married Before Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 16 April, 2017

I’m a reserved kind of girl but I speak a lot in front of my closed ones. I'm still never very open about my feelings in front of everyone. There’s just one friend Mohit who brought me out of this 'keeping to myself' zone. I started talking to him more regularly.

I shared each and every thing in my life with him. Daily routine. The way I felt. He always listened to me patiently and guided me through everything. Anytime I had any problem I always asked him for suggestions — be it my office matters or even my period cramps. He was always there for me. Anytime any moment. He never said no to me for anything, even if it was difficult for him to help me. Anytime I was late for office he would be there to drop me. Shopping for grocery or clothes, he was always accessible. When I was on-site, there were times when my family didn't receive my calls and I felt lonely but he was always there. It was not just a happy friendship, yes we used to fight. That too very often. 

We used to scold each other and also console each other. But never had we stopped talking to each other. He liked me. In fact he loved me more than anyone or anything in this world. I was his closest friend but never did I have such feelings for him. I cared for him equally though.

However, I didn't have any thoughts of spending my entire life with him and he didn't either. We both were sure of this. At times I thought I would never get a guy like him, who'll love me as much as he did and so if he asked me out I should say yes. But I belong to a very conservative family where a girl has no right to choose her partner and that too from a different caste, never. Mohit’s family was very broad minded. In fact they had tried a lot to fix his marriage with his ex girlfriend when his girlfriend’s parents were not agreeing for the marriage.

Despite all efforts the marriage could not happen. And in my case the situation would have been similar so he did not inform his parents about his love for me and agreed for an arranged marriage. We were both happy about his decision. His marriage was fixed and he was excited. I constantly teased him as well.

Our calls to each other decreased drastically, as he had to talk to his fiancé. I was happy for him but was also afraid of losing a good friend in my life. He was the only one I had. Losing him just meant I had to deal with all my problems, my emotions, my happiness all alone. Yes I had other friends but no one came close to what he was to me. My close friend who was my roommate shifted to a different place. My sister, my complete support system, got married.  

Mohit was aware of my situation and he made sure he was in touch with me even after his marriage.

Yes, long chats and calls were of course not possible anymore but were in touch. He tried to introduce his wife to me so that we could be friends. But she felt that the bonding between Mohit and I was too strong and then there started fights between him and his wife.

I constantly told Mohit, "It's okay if you can't talk to me, I’ll manage. You take care of her." But he insisted that I be in touch with him as moral support. He never called or texted me while he was at home. His focus was towards his wife as expected. Only while traveling to his office he called me. His wife did not know about this.

We could not talk during office hours as we both were busy at work. We never even met after his marriage. But the fights between him and his wife kept on increasing and it reached their parents eventually. He told his parents that he was not in contact with me since his wife had problems with it. But then his parents asked for a call log that revealed everything.

Now I am not allowed to call or text my friend. All this, because he got married before me. 
Author's Note:

Was it really so wrong to keep in touch with my best friend after his marriage? We never did anything wrong. We never even met. What is the right path now? Should I forget that he ever existed in my life or make others understand our friendship? We had a choice to be together but it was our own decision to not marry each other then why'd we cheat his wife? Also, my parents are looking for a boy for me. Slowly I’ll also get busy in my own life. But is this right? Why can this society not accept a guy and girl being friends even? I want Mohit and his wife to live happily ever after. And moreover never want to be a problem in my friend's life. I know he has started loving her. Yes I am his close friend still. Hoping the society to change. But sometimes I think how would I behave if I was in his wife’s position? I would also have problem with him talking to his girl best friend? Or I would I be a part of their team? I really don't know. But seriously, just wishing I get married soon and go very far away from their lives.