I Am A 24-Year-Old Working Girl But They Think I Will Not Get An Educated Guy

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 8 December, 2017

I know I will never be able to love anyone again. I broke up with my boyfriend one and a half years ago. I tried to get him back into my life several times. But I could not do so. I decided to move on.

So when I got a proposal for marriage, I just said, “Yes” to that guy without even thinking about it.

I am educated and work in a bank. He had just passed his 12th standard and is a salesman. He has clearly told me that he will not allow me to work after we get married.

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But things changed soon after. I felt that there was something weird about him. It had been just a week since we had met each other. And he was already behaving as if he was my husband. He got angry when I did not reply to his messages. His thinking was not very progressive. He felt girls should not go out and make friends. I could not talk to anyone else when he was with me. He even tried to get close to me and started sending me 'kiss' symbols and love filled messages.

I found all this weird because we did not even know each other properly yet.  We had met just a week back.

When I told my friends about this incident, they said that I was feeling this way because I was still thinking about my ex. They were right in a way because I had not been able to forget him. I finally decided to tell my parents about his behaviour.

He then messaged my mom and apologized for his behaviour. My mom ignored him for the first few days. But one day he said, “Ammiji, aap ab reply bhi nahi karoge?” My mom replied to him and told him to move on. He then started convincing my mom and told her that he loved me a lot. Both of us had not really wanted to be with each other. We had just met once for 10 minutes and he was saying that he had fallen in love with me.

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After saying a lot of things, he finally convinced my mother that he was the right person for me. Now the drama started. My mother convinced everyone else in my house and asked them all to convince me.

I had made up my mind that I would not say, “Yes” to this marriage. I just wanted to speak to him once. I wanted to apologize to him and tell him that I was sorry that I had agreed to get married to him and then changed my decision after a week.

But when I spoke to him on the phone he said, “I want you at any cost.” “Tu meri zidd hai aur ye zidd mujhe puri karni hai.” He continued using bad language. When my parents tried to convince me, I told them about what exactly had happened between us. But such things looked very silly to them.

I don’t know why my parents couldn’t see anything wrong in what he was doing to me.

My parents were forcing me to agree to this proposal. So I decided to tell his parents all that he had done to me. I called them up and told them that I did not want to marry their son.

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Later on I got a message from him stating, “Tune meri zindagi kharab kar di. Tu kabhi khush nahi rahegi. Lanat hai tujhe. Tu jo kabhi apne maa baap ki nahi ho saki to tu meri kya hogi. Jab maa banegi toh samjhegi. Nafrat karta hu tujse.”

When I received this message, I did not even react. I just ignored him. But he started calling my mom and other relatives again.

He asked them to convince me because he loved me. He even started telling my mom and relatives that, “Woh bighad gayi hai. Job karne lagi toh high soch ho gayi hai. Uska job chuda do warna woh middle-class family me tik nahi sakti.” Now my whole family was forcing me to get married to him because according to them I wouldn’t get any other guy.

I am a 24-year-old working girl but they still think I will not get an educated guy.

I was suffering from depression because except my younger sister no one else was supporting me. Everyone was harassing me for no reason at all. According to my parents and his parents, girls cannot say, “NO.” Everyone in my family was abusing me. Yet I was not ready to get married to him. One day my mother was down with some brain issue.

Now everyone started blaming me for her condition. After facing a lot of harassment, I FINALLY SAID, “YES” to him. Everyone is aware that I am not happy. But no one cares. They just want me to get married at any cost.

He started messaging me again and his behaviour has not changed. It is still the same. But my parents think that I don’t want to get married to him, so I am making excuses. When we spoke over the phone he told me that he will make me cry for my behaviour. My parents are planning my wedding in April 2018. I am very worried about it because I can’t run away.

Editor's Note:

Sometimes the people we love the most hurt us the most. Let’s share this young girl’s story because we really should listen to what our children are trying to tell us. We need to understand things from their perspective. If we truly love our children, we will have faith in them, respect their choices and support them at all times.