I met him for the first time 4 years ago in a group chat on WeChat. Slowly we both started falling in love with each other.
He was the first person that I would confide in whenever something bothered me. I was really addicted to him and was finding it difficult to concentrate on my studies now.
But like all other relationships, our relationship too ended after 2 months. He just left me without saying anything. Four months later, I wished him on his birthday because I still had his number.
We started chatting again and got back into a relationship for the second time.
We shared a long distance relationship but it was an ‘on and off’ relationship. It continued for almost two and a half years. Later, I moved to his city to pursue my higher studies. One fine day we decided to meet for the first time. After a few months, I shifted from a PG to a studio room along with my friend.
I don’t know how it happened but coincidentally he just happened to be our neighbour.
I came to know about it a week after we moved into our studio room. I would wait for his messages and calls and would keep checking my phone every now and then. I muted all the other conversations except his because I wanted to know when he sent me a message immediately.
But my phone would ping only once in a week.
We did have a few night outs together but I realized that he was ignoring me. I knew that I was not his top priority. I thought he really loved me and he was not showing it to me.
Slowly I realized that he was sacrificing on love because he was very ambitious and wanted to focus on his career.
He would motivate me every now and then. He didn’t want me to waste my time by getting involved in love and relationships. But I was deeply in love with him. He somehow never understood it.
I knew my responsibilities but he didn’t understand that all I was looking for love, care, loyalty and a hand to hold on to for the rest of my life.
He just wanted me to beg for his love. I tried to do so many times. I even lost all my self-respect in the process. I had even discussed my feelings with my mom.
But he left me and moved on with his life like as if nothing had happened between us.
I know I have to move on too. People think that usually, girls cheat on boys. But I don't think that is true.
Some girls are very loyal and true to their loved ones.
We broke up 5 months ago but I am still finding it difficult to get over him. We were together for 4 years but I now know that I was never his priority. I never got his love and he never cared for me. But I loved him. I still love him and I will continue to love him. I will love him till the end unconditionally.