Dear Anchor, I don’t have the guts to ask you if you like me or to tell you that I like you. You left me here, in a spot where all I can do is think about you. You know that you’re my best friend, and I am yours. All these days, I thought you’d only be my best friend, but something changed this.

When our friends tease us, you won’t look at me the whole day, but when we are travelling together, you make me feel like I’m your whole world. We’ve taken a lot of trips, together and with our friends. No matter how, but I always kept a seat saved for you. I get flashes of those trips before my eyes, and they make me nostalgic. One journey, I got so close to telling you how I felt. But that day, our friends teased us a lot and you kept your distance.

I thought you won’t sit next to me that day, but to my surprise, you pushed our friends away and kept your bag there. I slept on your shoulder and I still remember how you put your head on mine and gently put your hand on my head, to make sure I stayed asleep.

Do you have any idea how this has impacted me? In that moment, I just forgot the world around me and my sleep too… all I wanted to do was keep looking at you.

You were so close to me, I could feel you breathing. Situations like these have never happened to us. You soon put your arm around me and held me close I slept. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought about this specific moment. I kept thinking, is this something that you do with all your friends, or did this mean that there something more between us?

Every single time I think of that moment we shared on the bus, I can’t stop myself from blushing and turning new shades of pink and red. Did you notice the smile I had on my lips? Because it had your name on it.

But you and me, this is just friendship. Is that enough for you? You’re the only person who makes me feel this way, the only person who I have the courage to be myself with. I don’t know how you feel about me, but I know that I will never ask you this question because I don’t want to lose you and what we have. I’m just keeping my heart calm, and assured by telling it that I know you’re going to take care of me.

Everyone keeps telling me that I should talk to you and that I will regret not saying anything, but I’m scared that if I tell you, I’ll regret that even more. I might have to live with this confusion, but it’s better than not living with you. I’m hoping there’s another solution that I’ve just not found yet, but I’m happy to stay here for now.

With the memory of you holding me as we slept on that bus ride, making me blush. As I end this note, I’m wondering if I want you to read this or not… 

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