He Is In His Mid Forties And Still, He Can’t Make Up His Mind About Marrying Me

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 13 June, 2018

I was travelling when I saw the message he sent me over WhatsApp. He had managed to get my number from a matrimonial site. I took my time to go through his profile and I liked it. We started communicating.  After a few days, we knew we had started liking each other. But we lived in two different cities and could keep in touch only through our mobiles.

I then thought about our relationship for a long time. I felt I was not doing justice to it. So I decided to end it.

When I told him about it he did not say anything. He just sent me a smiley. But I soon realized that I had started missing him. After about a month I received an SMS saying that he had got a good opportunity and would be moving to my city shortly. But I had already broken off with him. So I just congratulated him.

He then said that he had no intentions of letting me go from his life. He refused to listen to any of my arguments. I really liked it when he talked like this with me.

We started having a good time together. Both of us were busy with our own schedules but we made it a point to meet too. He was a workaholic and I too wanted him to be the best employee in his organization. So I started adjusting. We met once in a fortnight.

Our families knew about our relationship and wanted us to get married. I was eager to get married too.

But he took almost a year to bring his parents to meet my mom.

My dad had passed away a while back and my mom does not keep too well. So she wanted to schedule the wedding as quickly as possible. Both of us were ageing too. I was in my late 30s and he was in his mid-40s.

But his parents said they needed more time to think about it.

My mom assured them that I was capable of adapting to any situation but they were not willing to change their decision. After they left our place I got an SMS from him saying that he will obey his parents’ wishes.

I was devastated but I did not lose hope. I really wanted to kill myself but I couldn’t.

Things became normal after a month. He said he would speak to his mother and assured me that both of us would be together soon.

So we kept in touch but I knew I also had to wait for things to move ahead.

I would call him every day. I then realized that I was the one who called him every day. He would never call me. I thought that maybe he was not in the habit of calling people and chose to ignore such minor matters. I knew that he had lied to me on several occasions but at the end of the day I also knew that he loved me.

He took me to meet his parents after Diwali. It was a nice meeting and I hoped everything would be fine soon. His dad promised me that he would arrange everything within a couple of months.

I was very happy when I heard this. But his parents were not willing to discuss the details of our marriage even after several months.

A few months later he informed me that his dad was not keeping well. He had to go to Mumbai with his dad but he did not even bother to tell me about it. But I was quite tense because I had seen his dad and I respected him a lot. His test reports confirmed that his dad had cancer and it was in the last stage.

My boyfriend was shocked. I decided to support him now.

I knew he was very attached to his dad. We did our best to ensure that his dad recovered at home. But his dad had to be hospitalized after a few days. He said he wanted me to be there with him.  I went to the hospital and stayed with him and his mother all through the day. I spoke to his dad and the doctors too.

All of us were just praying for his recovery. After all, miracles do happen.

But the very next day he informed me that his dad was not keeping well and after a couple of hours one of his colleagues informed me that his dad had passed away. I went to his house and met his mom.

She was really nice to me at this time. He invited me to the Shradh ceremony too but I would not make it because I was travelling at that time. But I did tell him about it.

I made it a point to keep in touch with him every day. But one fine day he just stopped communicating with me without giving me any reason. He started avoiding my phone calls. He stopped replying to my SMSes too.

It has been three years since all this happened and his behaviour continues to hurt me. But I have decided not to disturb him again. I will always pray for his happiness. Maybe my tears make him happy…….. but I'm happy that he is happy.

Editor's Note:

Why do we play with the emotions of other people? Why are we so hesitant to disclose our true feelings to our loved ones? When will we learn to take the responsibility for our emotions? Why can’t we part ways peacefully? Why do we give our loved ones so many false hopes and then betray them? Let’s share this young woman’s story and learn to be honest in all our relationships. Let’s please be more sensitive to other people’s feelings.