This is the favourite part of my love story. And these precious moments are mine and mine alone. I don’t know if it is love. I don’t know if what I feel is real. I don’t know if the kind of love that I have for him will last forever. I don’t know so many things but I don’t care either.
I know that my heart starts beating faster when I hear and feel the vibration of my phone. I never believed that we would fall in love in the ‘virtual’ world. I believed in the traditional kind of love where the guy meets the girl and starts liking her. I thought the love of my life would pursue me and win my heart by expressing his love to me.
But now I also believe in stories where a guy sees the girl online. I know he will text her only if he likes her. I know he will pursue her and can win her heart with emoticons. I also know that if the feelings that they both share are genuine then ‘love’ stands a chance in both the ‘real’ and the ‘virtual’ worlds.
It all started five years back. I met my school senior ‘online.’ We ‘met’ when we were in our early 20s. He texted me, and we connected instantly. Well, I realized that online connections are not easy to make either.
It is difficult to connect with anyone in the real or virtual world if that spark is missing.
But after we shared our first online “Hi!” we have been inseparable. We both have a lot of similarities.
We never had any trust issues.
It’s almost as if we had a psychic connection. Sometimes I really couldn’t believe how lucky I was. We shared every little secret.
We have shared our happiness, our heartbreaks and our insecurities too.
We texted each other over a social networking site for a few months. We then exchanged our numbers and started texting and calling each other regularly.
We would share our stories about how others had broken our hearts and literally cry our hearts out to each other.
Our relationship was platonic, and that was the best part of it all. We never felt awkward for even a single minute. We always thought we ‘knew’ each other. We never felt awkward when we texted each other the first time. We never felt awkward when we called each other the first time. We never felt awkward when we had our first video call with each other. We never felt awkward when we met the first time.
Eventually, we got to know that we shared some attraction too. But I never gave much thought to it.
It scared me to even dream of going ahead in our relationship because what we shared right now was too good to be true. I knew all good things would come to an end and I was sure I didn’t want to lose him.
So we just grew on each other slowly. Sometimes, when he shared his feelings about his new girlfriend, I would envy her. It was a funny feeling. He was happy. I was happy. And when she broke his heart, my heart broke too. When I was dealing with some painful things in my own life, he ensured that I was not depressed for long.
But it was fun too. We both have had our fair share of laughs also. Both of us had several people around us but ‘we chose each other.’ It did not matter that both of us lived far away from each other. According to him, “You are my counsellor, and I am yours.” I knew that what he was saying was true.
We had healed each other when we struggling to overcome the challenges in our own lives.
Then ‘love’ decided to make its way into our perfect story. I knew that he was exactly my type of a person so I couldn’t help wondering about how things would be in future. We did reach a point when we at least considered the idea of being together. We realized that the “I love you’s” that we usually said to each other had started meaning something more.
We could feel the depth in those words when we said this to each other.
Our romance started brewing for a brief span of time, but both of us knew how valuable we were in each other’s lives. So we decided not to go ahead with it. Nothing changed. We still had each other. We were happy. We were still the best of friends.
Then one day he called me and said he was coming to my city! He had not planned it. It just happened. I was excited because he wanted to see me. Finally, we were going to meet. I had seen him in my school almost ten years back…..such a long time ago. He was coming along with his friends on a trip near my city.
I was busy that day. Getting out of my house was difficult. But I wanted to meet him badly, so I didn’t care about such details.
I had the will so I found a way.
I asked my cousin to drop me at the mall where he had been waiting to meet me the whole day. I got down opposite the mall.
I saw him. He saw me at the same time. He smiled my favourite smile and waved.
I had to cross the road. There were far too many vehicles. I couldn’t wait. Somehow, this wait seemed the longest. It was overwhelming. There are no words to describe how long this wait was. God! I started running. We kept looking into each other’s eyes when I was climbing up the stairs. I covered the little distance that was left between us in one long stride. A “Hi!” was all I could manage to say.
He hugged me. And that hug – right there- was one the best things that I had experienced in my life. Finally, this big BAD world had something good in store for me. This person, my favourite person was in my arms. What more could I ask for? I just wished for time to freeze. At that very moment, I couldn’t help myself. I knew I was in love again.
I don’t know what the future has in store for us. I don’t care and I never will.