I know how suffering feels, how you are getting weaker and falling every day, how there is so much pain inside you but there is no one to hear you.
Every day you are pushing yourself so hard just to survive.
You’re probably tired of the failure of your dreams, love, relationships, friendships and these failures have turned into a self-blaming process, which makes you think that it is all your fault.
You're trying hard to sleep but suddenly your eyes open and the rest of the night passes sleeplessly. You keep trying again and again but there is no sign of sleep.
You desperately want to close your eyes, not just close them but sleep. You try everything to give your eyes some rest but you fail every single time.
The question is not about the sleepless nights but the cause of this sleeplessness, which could be anxiety, stress, or the most dangerous word -‘depression’.
It feels bad to see people around you sleeping peacefully while your eyes are not even blinking. I know it feels bad when you want to take rest and want to forget everything that happened to you; everything that made you shiver.
Why do these thoughts disturb you at night? Why do they make you overthink things that don’t even exist in your life anymore?
You worry about people who left you years ago and never looked back, even when you gave them so much of yourself. You bother about the things that make you struggle with your existence every single day.
You are always worrying about the dreams that you haven’t been able to fulfil so far. You’re concerned about the friend that betrayed you, you’re bothered about the relatives that make you uncomfortable for something you are not; even change bothers you.
Every time you think that you are falling and that you won't be able to handle things anymore.
You feel low every day but you don’t ask for help. You are smiling on the outside and showing people your wild side but on the inside, the anxiety, stress, and depression are killing you.
But you don’t say anything to anyone because you think that no one will understand you.
You like isolation but I know you are suffering. You’re suffering every second of every day. The days are passing as quickly as they can but things are not changing in a positive way.
This suffering is making you weak; you know it but you are unable to help yourself.
Even you want to get rid of it but you are not able to because you always carry a fake smile portraying that everything is perfectly fine. No matter how much it hurts, you will never show your pain to anyone because you know that nobody is going to understand your depression and how it feels.