Dear Ex, This Is Why I Will Always Find An Excuse To Contact You

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 8 December, 2017

It's been more than three years since we got separated. The time you entered my life was the best phase of my life. I loved you like anything, beyond limits. My life revolved around you, 24x7, even when I was not with you, you were still there at the back of my mind, all the time.

You resided in every breath of mine, the way I loved you and the way I got it back was something so special, that I could never have even imagined it. I felt blessed to have a true love like you.

We worked together, but after office hours also, we would plan to meet. Even after that, we’d stay connected. It was an awesome feeling. I got attracted to your intellectual brain, which impressed me like anything. Your fragrance inclined me towards you, I can still smell a whiff of that fragrance, around me. Four years of togetherness is something I can never forget, you had given me the kind of love which can never be replaced by anyone. The last three years without you has made it difficult for me to even breathe. Ever since the moment I realized that we will never be together anymore, I have been chanting your name in every breath. It could be so painful without you, I never even imagined. My days were emptied of their life, without you. I was always in a beautiful dilemma - that you love me more than I love you. This was something that allowed me to have some hope for our togetherness in future, but you never took the initiative to hold me back in your life. These unfulfilled expectations killed me like anything, day and night. I was so depressed that my health had started suffering. I got a call from the hospital for the diagnosis, it was a bacterial attack in my intestine. A painful treatment started, at that time I wanted to have you by my side, as I always think you as my healing factor. Simply talking to you for a few minutes heals my heart, even today.

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Your strange attitude towards me is so cold, as if I mean nothing in your life anymore, the same girl who was everything to you at some point in your life.

I am still searching for the answers, the reason behind our separation. I couldn't figure out what went wrong between us, what exactly it was that I was not able to fix. I have so much anger built inside me, for you, but I know even now that one gesture of love from you, will melt me immediately even now.

There is such a madness in my love, for you. I want you back in my life, just like the way we were three years back, but I know that this is not possible now.

I have given all the love I had in me, to you. And now, I don't want to enter this phase with anyone ever again, not even with you maybe. The pain is too much to bear. But for once, I want to tell you how much I love you, and that I am eagerly waiting to hear the same from you. I want to talk to you at least for a few days continuously, to discuss these three years of separation. I want to tell you about every moment that we spent apart, I want to update you on everything that happened. The pain you had gone through, I would like to know about that, too.

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I want to be with you to enjoy the final few moments which will help me to live a few more years, with the help of those memories we captured. I want to hug you, kiss you, cry with you, laugh with you.

I just want to see you. I miss you a lot. I am always trying to find excuses to contact you. If I will continue to write in this manner, my story here will never end. I have a lot to say but ending here. All I want to say is, I hope you miss me too.

Editor's Note:

Share this story, because such is the reality of relationships.