People talk about being cheated on and they know only one meaning of that- having sexual encounters with someone else or being emotionally attached to somebody else who isn't your girlfriend or wife. But dear love, you cheated me since our first day but in a different way.
I still remember our first date at that cafe. I was really impressed by the fact that you were so much into mountains and trekking. You complimented my long pink skirt and my owl earrings. You said I looked pretty. I smiled and... yeah, I liked you too.
I always thought that I was really strong and after my last break up, I kinda decided that I would not fall for anyone. But little did I know! I moved to a new city with a new job. As I didn't have any friends there, I started using a dating app. Honestly, believe me, I wasn't looking for any hookups or any serious relationships. I was just looking for someone to talk to or hang out with. That's it. Nothing more than that. And then, I met you.
I made myself perfectly clear- "Dude, I like you. You seem a nice guy, but I'm not looking for anything serious and that obviously doesn't mean that I'm looking for casual flings. I just need a friend." You told me to just chill and persuaded me to go out with you a second time.
On our third date, you picked me up from my office and we went for dinner and a long drive. That drive was really tough for me because, by that time I understood what you wanted, and I wasn't sure. But yeah, I finally gave in. I spent the night with you, you didn't hurry. You were gentle with me, took care of me, and to be honest, it felt really good. Next morning, I was really happy.
Then, we started meeting every day and slowly, I fell in love with you. We went on a trip as well. I was already 28 by then and there was the pressure of getting married from my home. And till that day, you didn't say anything about your feelings for me but you always said that you were really serious about me, about us.
So I asked you. Did I do anything wrong? You got angry and left my place right away.
I went for a trek on the very next day and when I came back after 2 days, you were completely changed and you expressed your feelings for me. I was on cloud nine.
I didn't know that you did it so that you could have me until you lived in the same city. Yeah, that's the time he decided to move to a different city.
I believed you! I really believed that you didn't get a job in Hyderabad or Bangalore. You only got it in Chandigarh. So you were preparing to leave, and in that one month, we had several fights. I started to realize that I don't come as a first priority in your life. Not because you were leaving.
I understand our profession very well and I don't mind it at all. But, what I realized was, I always came as a second priority to everything else. It killed me. I expressed my concerns and you gave some explanations, and yeah, we were okay. At least I thought that.
The next month, you broke up with me. Reason? I wanted you to come and meet me for your birthday and that was a really long journey (I understood this bit and was sorry too). But I forced you into a relationship? We suddenly had a language problem? You don't feel the connection anymore?
I was also angry. I also wanted to break up. But the next day I called you because I was sure that we could never just break up, that too like this? For reasons this lame? Come on.
But no, you were way ahead of me. That day I pinged you again in the evening, hoping maybe you would change your mind. But, no. I started acting like a beggar as I really f***ing loved you! How could I just let you go?
I couldn't sleep for nights, started having broken dreams. I stopped eating properly. At the office, I used to hide my teary eyes behind my long curly hair and cry soundlessly in my bay. If anyone asked me if I was crying, I would give them my contact lens excuses.
But then I realized, I was just "Someone to f*** and spend time with" for you. And obviously, it's easier to break up with somebody when you have the "Long distance doesn't work yaar" excuse.
But you know what, I'm really glad that you changed your city, otherwise, I could never see your true face. A person who couldn't stand one month of long distance should never settle down for marriage.
You moved on so quickly that it startled me. I kept thinking how on earth I can be so stupid that I fell for a person like you. If you never felt that I loved you, why the hell did you continue the relationship? I pity the girl to whom you would end up marrying. Oh, did you break up with me because you knew I would never give you dowry? Whatever, I have no respect for you anymore.