Son, Please Don't Let Shahid Kapoor Be A Lesson To You

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 5 January, 2017

Dear Son,

Don't let Shahid Kapoor be a lesson to you. Please.

Yes he's a man who works hard for a living but you should stand far far away from his mediocre achievements. Nobody really takes note of what he did wrong. Apparently, nobody should. But I'll tell you the truth — he's a pervert, like every one of those star-studded assh*les.

Son, you may fail in your pursuits to find love, but I NEVER want you to be talked about as “Everybody’s ex”. A gentleman is never a player, and you better remember it till the day you die. If you do find a Kareena Kapoor, you better learn to keep her. Let Shahid Kapoor be an example of what you DO NOT want to be. I raised you to be a good human being, but you still have no right to impose your beliefs on another woman, no matter how closely knit her life is to yours.

Kareena finally left Shahid for her chicken, and that’s not what should happen to you.

Women are not 'items' as Bollywood has named them. They are not meant to be objectified and do item numbers. And I don't say men should do item numbers either. They don't anyway.

I know your generation is more demanding of your love lives. I know you deserve nothing less than perfect. But it doesn’t mean you make the same mistakes over and over again. No matter what your fame is, or what you’ve achieved for yourself, it doesn’t make your actions correct. Why do you think so many beautiful, talented, high-headed women left Shahid — Vidya Balan, Amrita Rao, Kareena Kapoor, Priyanka Chopra — not ALL of them could have been wrong.

But did you notice how they were still with him while they were still struggling, and made it big only around the time they left him? “Shit happens” is not the lesson to deduce — LEARN how to handle your woman’s ambitions and achievements. Grow up and have the courage to let her outshine you.

And if you feel threatened by your partner’s success, then you truly don’t deserve her! Instead of having a massive cactus of an ego, let it inspire you to do better for yourself. And if you EVER bring home a girl half your age, that WILL be the day I beat you up till you’re blue. I will not stand for the “age is just a number” ruse. The implications of that age is HUGE. And there is a big difference between an age gap and a generation gap.

When you decide whom to marry, please use logic above everything else. I don’t care on what level you connect with the woman of your dreams, but it shouldn’t seem like you were smoking something when you pick her for a partner. The time you had your first girlfriend should not be the time she first learnt fractions — and that’s a reasonable thumb rule the last time I checked. If it makes it any better, your mother and I will stop giving you pressure about being 30. You may or may not find a suitable bride, but we won’t have anything to do with you marrying a child.

And I promise to not be like Mira's parents if you have a sister. I wouldn't let any other 34-year-old dude come anywhere close to her no matter how accomplished the poor sod would be.

And son, no self-respecting man would marry someone so smart at this age. He'd at least let her see the outside world first.

So Shahid's intentions of ruining a young girl's life is clear here. He always wanted a wife so sub-par compared to him that he would never have to feel threatened again.

I can't still imagine why that poor child decided to give up for an old crone like Shahid right after she graduated. What she got out of it? Him saying she's the most "normal" woman he knows. Well, that's an achievement no? Trust me son, the day Mira will realize that her Anamika Khanna outfit wasn’t all that worth it, that's when Shahid will probably get a slap on the face yet again. I don't want you to ever deserve that.

A man is not strong, a man is chivalrous. A man is loyal and committed. Being a womaniser or scoring a child for a wife does not make you a "Strong man", it only makes you a shameless idiot. And 'boys don't cry' is the worst myth ever. Love makes you do all sorts of things, one of them is crying. I've cried for your mum multiple times. And she has loved it, because it's an expression of love. 

So son, don't let the world judge what kind of a man you want to become. The world doesn't know shit. It's going to dogs anyway. Our country is going to dogs and you're my only hope to see a little brighter future if not the whole of it. 

Love,

Your concerned old man.

A reader has sent us a reply for this author - Mind Your Own Business Aunty!

The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the position of AkkarBakkar or its affiliates.