My Generation Runs Away From Love But That's All I Want

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 26 December, 2016

Today, the love we hear stories of seems to have vanished! Relationships are no more than the relationships we saw in the classic Bollywood romantics. I look around for a beautiful heart and an innocent smile. But all I get to see are lustful stares...

I see people getting involved in hook ups and flings everyday and wonder where's the innocence. Well, there is none anymore.

The dating scenario has changed in a way that it only gives you access to meet people who are not looking for something serious. They are more interested in one night stands or being 'Friends With Benefits'. I'm not judging people who indulge in all this because who am I to do that. What I am concerned about is... Where has the love gone? 

Where is the love that connects you enough to want to call that girl even after sleeping with her once. Where is that love that makes you want to stay up at nights to talk to each other, not just to try new positions.

The kind of love that connects you on a deeper level with another person, love that lets you accept a person with their flaws, love that is powerful and overwhelming, love that transforms you in a positive manner and gives you strength to overcome obstacles. Today, if a guy strikes a conversation with a girl with a simple 'HI' in the hopes of getting to know her well, he is labelled as 'boring', 'chape' or even a 'pervert'. Does striking a conversation with a simple 'hi' automatically mean that the guy is not a keeper? He can be a devoted guy, someone who motivates you to be the best you everyday and loves you with all his heart.

But today's dating norms make him ineligible to be dated. 

Mental or emotional intimacy is a rare thing now. Nobody has time or the willingness to sit somewhere  and talk about meaningful things. Despite having a relationship, people succumb to the temptation of a new found love interest during business trips and meetings, and indulge in the so-called 'hot and passionate' sexual encounters. This marks the beginning of a new relationship and end of the previous one. But where is the love?

People are so concerned about their physical appearances that they don't work on what actually matters. They want people to swipe them right, they don't want them to know them right. Where is the love?

I sometimes find myself lost due to such behavior towards something as beautiful as the feeling called love. Nobody wants to know your thought process, nobody gives a hoot about how intensely and passionately you can love someone. People feel suffocated if a relationship goes on longer than six months. 

It is so difficult to find someone who can stare deep into your eyes and make you feel loved.

And that is why I prefer someone who understands the importance of connecting mentally, emotionally and sexually, someone who has substance, someone who is happy with just a simple 'hi', someone who does not find writing letters melodramatic and cheesy, someone who is comfortable with my silences. And someone who knows what real love is. I hope I find such a connection someday!

Editor's note:

Tinder's market has grown manifold in India. I don't believe not being serious is wrong, because you're the masters of your life, just like I am mine. But I agree with the author on how, even if one would want to go on a search of love, he/she would get lost in the sea of millennials who run away from the thought of it. Please share this story if you share the feeling as much.