A typical Indian girl's life is measured by age — finish school between 21-24, marry and make babies between 23-29 and “grow” the family for the next two decades and...
I'm A Doctor But For You, I'll Always Be The Woman Who Was Sent Back Home By Her Husband: Thank You
I was brought up in a loving family. I have a very supportive single mother and I was blessed to be her only daughter. Seriously, I couldn't have asked for more. Being an intelligent girl who topped her class always, got what she wanted in life, had a lavish life being the only child. All of this almost felt like a dream. And it was. It was all too good to be true.
But this is when and how the storm after the lull in my life took place. I always had this yearning to have a man in my life who would love me unconditionally. At the age of 29, the pressure of not being married was so high in front of the society that I just gave in.
So, I stopped waiting for my soulmate and went for an arranged marriage. It was the easiest thing to do but it was also the biggest mistake of my life.Share
As cheesy as it may sound, marriage for me was always sacred. As a devotee of lord Shiva, I always wanted a husband who would love me like Shiv ji loved Parvati ji. Therefore, for someone who looked like a dare devil biker and a strong woman, I was a quite a homely girl longing for her Prince Charming.
I finally married an army officer. A man who came back a year after he and his family rejected me to ask for my hand in marriage. I should have sensed the fishiness of the situation then. I didn't. His trap was way too convincing for me to judge his intentions. As the wedding day came close, the true colours started showing.
But just like any other Indian family in our extremely backward society, we chose to save our family's honour and ignored all the clues.Share
A lot of drama happened during the wedding. About dowry, about preparations. The man I hoped to be my dream man took advantage of the fact that I was the only daughter to my single mother.
Yes, that's how spineless he was. He was also a very good actor. He was a gentleman to everybody but me. He mentally harassed me and even stooped down to the level of forcing me to commit suicide. I was clueless about why he came back to ruin my life. He even tried to prove that I was mentally unstable.
Sometimes, he would just stop the sex and say, "I am doing it because you want it, I am not interested in you." He would say, "I don't love you, I tried but I am still not being able to love you and will never be able to love you."Share
He tried very hard to put me down and eventually sent me back home after eight months of our marriage. I went into depression. I kept searching for reasons as to what was wrong with me. What was the need for him to come back after a year with an intention of ruining a woman's life? I was an "obedient wife" to say the least, I performed my duties well.
My life was perfect, my childhood was perfect. But today, for no particular fault of mine, I'm a 33-year-old separated woman eagerly awaiting a divorce to break free.Share
Now after three years of introspection I have realised it wasn't my fault. When a man decides to fall out of love for a woman, he does it no matter what. And we women pay the price. He never loved me. In fact, he married me for money and physical pleasure of a few days. When it was fulfilled, he sent me back to my mother. I felt used in my marriage by my own husband.
I'm a Doctor by profession but for the society today, I'm a woman who was sent back home by her husband.Share
I hear gossips of all sorts, judging me for the way I look and live, without knowing what I have been through. So is it mandatory that a lady separated from a husband should go through a depression phase and shouldn't live a happy life?
Most men think a separated woman is readily available to sleep with them, they have the least amount of respect for such women. I wish they didn't look at us like commodities.
Today I have survived through all of this, thanks to my mother and friends' support. Inspite of all this, I still believe in love and hope to find a man who will truly love me for who I am and who'll understand me.
The society is begging me to give up on a happy life but I beg to differ. I still believe marriage is sacred.Share
Just because the wedding day is close is no reason to go through a marriage that's based on wrong intentions. If you're lucky enough to get hints, please stop it. Share this story with every person you think should read this, if you know what I mean!